The Dating 'R' Us Tips Page

This page contains the guidance for men and women. This will help you understand each others behavior. I did not say you would like it, just that you would understand it. Knowledge is half the battle with an opponent or a friend. It's divided into a Men's and a Women's section. We suggest that you read and study both sections. For those that believe in Astrology, we suggest that you click here and find out how compatible your sign is with your potential partner.

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Men's Section

Gents, we all want the same basic things in life. Happiness, a good woman (or a really bad one), food and football. What's the shortest distance between two points? In case you missed class that day, the answer is a straight line. Except not with women. When we want a beer, a coke or a hamburger, we tell the waitress exactly what we want. She returns with the goods, and we're happy. Tried that direct approach with a woman lately? The most direct route to a woman is not a straight line. In fact it looks something like a winding road through an unknown countryside. You don't know where the next twist or turn is. Women are more like rollercoasters, you can still have fun and enjoy yourself, even though it's an unfamiliar road. You don't need a map to get on a coaster, right? So why do you want one for a woman? You can't buy a map for women anyhow, so give it up. Just remember, even without a map to a rollercoaster, you can still have a killer time and enjoy the ride.

There is a great responsibility on our shoulders. We have to try and learn women's language and to read their very subtle body language. Women are by nature, better verbal communicators than we are, but far more confusing at physical communication. Being at a disadvantage, it's our job to try and learn what they are saying. Please check out the "Definition of Terms" page. This helps clarify what many keywords mean to women and how we should better respond to them.

Here are some ideas that will help ease you into the company of a new woman. Subtle approaches seem to work best in most situations.

If you want to go out with a woman, just ask them if they want to have coffee somewhere first, at a place of her chosing.

Save the flowers and candy for Valentines Day. On second dates you should take her somewhere a little more upscale than McDonald's this time.
If you really think she is a babe, just say you think she's pretty cool, or she'll run away fast.
The second date should include a one second kiss to her cheek to show you find her attractive.

Women's Section

Hello Ladies. I am going to relate to you what happens with men during dating from a man's perspective. The goal here is to try and help you understand guys behavior and what they are really trying to do. The first, actually the second biggest motivator for a guy's behavior is that we don't want to look dumb. We'll get to the first biggest later on. Sometimes when a guy seems insensitive, it's because he really does not understand what you are trying to say to him, but he does not want to appear dumb, so he just brushes it off. This can lead to hurt feelings. So what you have to do, is translate your thoughts, wishes and desires into his language. Remember, we are use to handling footballs and pizza most of the time, not the Mona Lisa. We definitely need guidance here. When he seems indifferent, show him in pictorial form how you think he is acting. Pictures go a long way with men. The next time he's about to scarf down his favorite pizza, pour used motor oil all over it. He'll wonder what your problem is. Tell him that you are just demonstrating the same insensitivity that he showed you. Trust me, he'll get it. In fact, it may even lead to some conversation!! The bottom line is that communicating in pictures will always reach a man better than words. Because big words such as commitment, relationship, tenderness, compatability, and emotions, make us feel dumb. Here is a list of mixed signals that women often send unknowingly.

When you don't talk to him, or make eye contact during a date, he will interpret this as disinterest. Even if it is just shyness on your behalf.
Don't dirty dance with him, and then tell him you want friendship first.
Anything longer than a 2 second kiss, is construed as physical interest. A one second kiss to the cheek, shows him you think he's a nice guy.
Just because you go on a second date with him, don't assume he knows you like his company. Tell him.
If you let him hold your hand at any point, you are saying that you like him, regardless of what you think you are saying.
If you don't want to see him again, tell him. Otherwise he just thinks you are playing hard to get. Be clear on this one. At least send him an email.
Don't buy him a lap dance from a stripper at your friend's party, and expect him to not interpret this as sexual interest.
Wearing low cut, sexy clothes on the first date, tells a man that you are showing major sexual interest. Assets are one thing, invitations are another!!
Wearing grandma's clothes won't cut it either.

Sex is the primary motivator for a man's behavior. It's just that simple. Can he help it? Not a chance!! Men have such a terrible time controlling their drives. It really makes them crazy. For thousands of years as cavemen, guys would just select a woman, much like picking fruit in the produce aisle, mate with her, and hit the road. Times have changed, but men have not. It's difficult to alter the course of natural selection. Women have evolved into sophisticated creatures. Guys are still in the stone age. It's not our fault. If you can deliver a clear message of desire, and draw crystal clear boundries, you will have succeeded at telling the male that you have physical interest, but not in the next 24 hours. The significance of 24 hours is that men's memory is not capable of storage longer than one day. They have to be reminded. So just redraw the boundry tomorrow. Men are very happy at filling roles, if they know where they stand with a woman. If you want to start out as friends, tell him up front. The word start clues him into the fact that there may be more to come if he behaves. If your goal is to only have him as a friend, be clear from the very begining.

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